I have to admit – I have an overly healthy sense of cynicism. I look at the regulars on the raw food circuit and think to myself, “are they really that freaking positive all the time?” It’s a great advertisement for eating living foods if they truly are. I find myself alternatively inspired and incredulous. Philip McClusky evokes these mixed emotions in me. I know it reflects my own insecurities, so I keep reading his blog anyway, hoping something will rub off.
He once posted a poem by Portia Nelson which really spoke to me. It illustrates the various stages involved in breaking patterns using a metaphor of falling into a hole. Patterns are akin to routines, hence my interest. Habits are a pattern. Indeed, she says:
I still fall in (the hole). It is a habit.
My eyes are open.
I know where I am.
It is my fault.
I get out immediately.
I think I’m at the “think I don’t see it” stage. It’s called denial. I have been indulging in my cravings for fudgesicles this week, undoing the beautiful juice fasting of last week. My eyes are open again. My bodily aches and pains remind me why I need to nourish myself. In order to walk around the hole – or even take another path entirely — one has to recognize the obstacles. In this case it’s being tired after a long day at work and needing to reward myself.
I can make raw fudgesicles. I have a few ideas. In the meantime, I recomit myself to my regular eating pattern: fruit salad or smoothie (preferably green) for breakfast; big ass salad and soup for lunch; more veggie and some sort of raw entree for dinner; fruit and/or nuts for snacks. I also recomit myself to my lunch hour exercise. My gym bag has been gathering too much dust.
When I perfect the raw fudge-sicle recipe, I shall post
